Inspiration

sunspirationThere’s this thing: I hate it. I mean I love it. Inspiration. It’s complicated. It favors you a while, you’re inseparable, it tells you these sweet lies you’re desperate to believe and it convinces you this will last forever. You accept this all too readily. It promises you the whole damn world and you have a good time and then it disappears. But you’ve had a glimpse of something special, you can’t just forget about what happened. So you try to replace it with discipline, and reason. Concentration. Commitment. The crazy thing is, this actually works, and you eventually find a decent way of living where you can steadily move forward. Then, once you’re sure you’ll never need it again, it returns. Inspiration. It seizes you completely, and all that plodding work, all that discipline is thrown out the window and you let it seize you again, take you whole. There’s no telling how far this will take me, you tell yourself. This is sure to last forever.